I can’t quite believe it’s October already.
This has been a weird year. Big and complex, I’ve tried to accomplish more, but most of the time it has felt like trudging through tar.
As I push for more originality, to make my images more mine, I create more details. More props, more specific styling, more location hunting. More details take more time and I’m not sure if I’m being a perfectionist or procrastinating.
Plus, is originality even possible?
I’m fully committed to my first series, but even with the first few shoots done, I have the fear. Is it original enough? Is the idea stupid? Is it the direction I want to go in? Does it matter and should I just move forward anyway?
My photography is a reflection of me so it’s important to me that it reflects my values. I used to see it as part of me leaving a piece of myself, part of a paper trail of my life. So it feels so important that I get it ‘right’. The theme, the story, the styling and mood. But I always miss the spot on an aspect or two, the theme is right but the execution is messy, or the whole thing somehow ends up too pretty. And it’s insanely frustrating.
I keep reminding myself that no-one ever makes a piece of art exactly the way they want, there are always compromises. But I’m feeling under pressure to go somewhere with this, to realise some sort of potential and that pressure becomes pretty suffocating sometimes. At the moment, I’m just trying to keep trudging on, keep producing, keep tweaking, keep learning because the alternative is to stay still and stagnate.
Recently I’ve been returning to the shoots that just worked, trying to figure out what worked and how I can learn from the happy accidents that helped pull it all together. The shoot I’ve just completed was the result of that and of simplifying and I think it’s worked.
Hopefully, it’s original enough.