Growing up, Wednesday Addams was my idol.
She wore pigtails without them looking cute, was totally independent and when someone told her to be someone she wasn’t, she burnt their camp to the ground.
I’m an introvert and I think Wednesday was too.
I don’t think it’s a bad thing at all, it’s simply the way my brain works, but the misconceptions around it are frustrating. Especially when I’m called shy.
I’m not shy, I’m quiet
If I have something to say, I’ll say it, but I won’t speak simply to have spoken. If I’m quiet, I’m concentrating. Yes, that’s a lot but there are a lot of things to think about; what I’m doing, what you’re saying or even the way the light is interacting with whatever is in front of me.
Want an immediate response to a problem? You won’t often get one, a multitude of options will be running through my head and I’m testing the viability of each one. I also choose my words carefully, not because I’m afraid to speak but because I like what I’m saying to be as correct as possible. Wednesday’s cutting comebacks are considered and all the more effective for not being a rambling of thoughts.
Shyness is often seen as a weakness, so when you call me shy, you’re kind of suggesting the way my brain works is a weakness.
I’m not antisocial, I run out of social energy
In the same way I have a finite amount of energy to run before I need a rest, I have a finite amount of social energy. I can be having a wonderful time, but when that energy runs out, that’s it. I need alone time. It’s not you, well it kind of is, you’re exhausting.
I’m not miserable
I just have resting bitch face ok?
Joking (sort of). I’m not ‘perky’ and I don’t want to be. Doesn’t mean I’m not happy, it’s just not natural for me to animate it.
Extroverts and introverts both have their benefits, but assuming introverts aren’t social or are shy is misreading what’s actually happening.
The good stuff
I’m focused. I learn quickly and I’m confident in my ability to become good at most things. If I want to learn to do something, I learn to do it, whether I have any natural ability or not.
Also plotting, I’m good at that.